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Posted by a Guy named Mugatu on 05/19/10My mother is deathly afraid of midgets. Whether they\’re on the street, or right on her TV, she literally freaks. I think its hilarious, but she gets mad when I laugh.
I was going to hire a little-person comedian for her birthday this year, but Im afraid shell just run out of the restaurant.
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Posted by a Girl named Annie on 12/03/09I lost 30 pounds in 4 months. I talked to “a friend” about a party I have to go to this weekend and said I needed to buy a new dress, she suggested I call her sister who easily weighs more than I did when I was fat and ask her to borrow a dress…Why would somebody do that? (she wasn’t kidding)
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Posted by a Girl named TP on 07/13/09Why do boys never have toilet paper in their apartment??
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Posted by a Guy named cheechee on 07/08/09My boyfriend and I play on the same softball team for work. I missed a groundball the other day and he freaked out. He asked me if “I was trying to lose the game?” Why do guys take this crap so seriously?
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Posted by a Girl named Professional on 07/07/09A guy I work with has a lazy eye. When talking to him, I am not sure if I should look him straight in the good eye or the bad eye. Or maybe I should just look up towards the ceiling where his lazy eye seems to be staring…
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Posted by a Guy named ijowj on 07/07/09Dear Grandma: Please stop asking me when I am going to settle down with a nice Jewish girl.
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Posted by a Guy named weirddude on 07/06/09So this homeless guy kepy following me screaming that I stole his bag of empty cans. Finally I turned around and yelled back: “Listen, I sold them and bought a nice big cheeseburger and a 40. Let it go!”
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Posted by a Guy named durrr on 07/06/09Why can I remember the entire starting line-up for the 93 Chicago Bulls but have no fucking clue where I put my car keys last night?
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Posted by a Guy named OhMom on 07/02/09Why the hell did my parents tell me I could be anything I wanted to be when I grew up? My mom once told me if I wanted it badly enough I could play in the NBA. I’m white, 5′10, and 130 pounds. What the %^$#?
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Posted by a Girl named nomas on 07/02/09Why does my mom insist on referring to pot as reefer? I swear when she asked my little sister is she smoked reefer I wanted to remove her parental rights.
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