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Posted by a Guy named Inappropriate on 09/09/09One time when I was preparing to shotgun a beer, I was using a seashell to puncture the hole, cause I was on the beach and all, and the beer came spraying out and hit a little girl in the face, and she screamed. BTW, we were at a family friendly concert.
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Posted by a Guy named cc on 07/13/09I had sex with a 42 yr old mother of 4 who used to carpool to soccer practice for my younger siblings. she also happened to be a spanish teacher (and shortly thereafter was fired for allegedly messing around w/ one of her students). she made me a fantastic plate of chocolate chip cookies in the morning.
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Posted by a Guy named Professional on 07/08/09I just finished a meeting with a few people. My boss’ boss was running the meeting. He’s Indian & has a very heavy accent so I could not understand one word he was saying. I just kept answering, “I completely understand.” A colleague told me later that he was only asking me if I wanted a donut.
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Posted by a Girl named trouble on 07/07/09I went into my boss’s office to put something on his desk, and knocked down a very expensive painting and broke the frame. I ran out of the room and pretended that the wind knocked it down.
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Posted by a Guy named beer gut on 07/07/09One time, I clogged my friend’s toilet and blamed it on his girlfriend. I then told him to pay more attention to what he’s feeding her.
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Posted by a Guy named Goat on 07/02/09I saw a girl fall on her face outside of a club the other night and while I felt bad, I also thought that it was fucking hysterical.
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Posted by a Girl named enough? on 07/02/09Ok when are people going to stop talking about MJ. Seriously, his scary face is the first thing i see in the morning and the last thing i see at night on TV, in the papers and online. Im starting to have nightmares!!
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Posted by a Girl named madonna on 07/01/09Sometimes, my boyfriend makes me so mad that I just want to cut off his member. Don’t worry though, I would gladly drive his ass to the hospital so he could get it reattached.
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Posted by a Guy named spoonfed on 06/26/09My adolescent cousin is so acne-laden, fat and disgusting that at dinners when he’s around i have to pretend i’m not hungry just to prevent myself from hurling it all up.
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Posted by a Girl named shaniatwain on 06/25/09One night, about a week ago, I called up my ex-boyfriend and told him to come over for some rough sex. However, I went out with my girlfriends instead - leaving him with my 90-year-old grandmother who was house sitting.
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